Behind the Mask | Celebrating the NHS
I seem to have got very slack with my blog-posting over the last few months. Like everyone else, I’m sure, my mind seems to have been pretty firmly set on the one track that we’d all do anything to get off, and since my flurry of enthusiasm coming out of lockdown, writing posts about how to safely conduct socially distanced headshot sessions, the blogging tumbleweed has been well and truly tumbling.
But one thing that definitely kept me sane and inspired during the quieter times as we first emerged from lockdown, and which certainly feels like it’s worth writing home about, was the opportunity to be involved in the amazing 2020 Vision project - a nationwide collective of 100 portrait photographers who collaborated to produce a series of images of healthcare professionals, in order to celebrate the massive contribution the NHS has made to all of our lives, and their unfailing dedication to getting us through the Covid-19 pandemic. And now that the first exhibition of the work has been shown at St. Ethelburga’s Centre in Bishopsgate (with more exhibitions to be announced next year), I’m delighted to be able to share some of my work for the project.
Whilst the project was designed to be as inclusive as possible, featuring healthcare workers cross all sectors and at all levels of the NHS, I decided to focus exclusively on the mental health professionals who do so much amazing work to support the psychologically vulnerable amongst us, often at huge risk to themselves during these testing times, and especially at a time when that vulnerability has also been bought so much closer to home for so many of us.
Here are some of their stories.
Bev Ryan-Hawes | Senior Mental Health Nurse | Mill View Hospital, Hove
What has challenged you most?
I guess like most other people the unknown and fear that goes with that. When my wife was ill with Covid, and needed an ambulance one night as she couldn't breathe, my fear of losing her was unbearable. I couldn't let her see this as I didn't want to make her feel fear, and then worsen her illness. At the same time my mum was very ill, and I felt I had to choose between being with mum and my wife. I chose my wife. My mum later died and I never had the chance to see her alive again.
I felt that I had to be the glue, holding everyone else together. Holding the space for my elderly father, for my brother whilst they grieved. Registering Mum's death, organising her funeral, her estate, all the while just holding on. Holding the space for my beautiful wife, surrounding and bathing her with love whilst she healed and recovered. Holding the space at work at times of uncertainty for junior staff and patients, who were already in fear, through mental distress and now feeling more fearful because of Covid.
Perhaps on a more trivial note, I have been challenged by not being able to go to the gym/boxing. This has led to an increase in 10lb in weight!
What has inspired you most?
A sense of love. Connecting to all people with love from my heart directly to theirs. The sense of community that came through. Small random acts of kindness from strangers. People coming together, who perhaps normally would not have. Neighbours clapping every Thursday (this made me cry on more than one occasion!) The neighbours in the street (a very rough council estate!) where mum lived, where I grew up, lining the street on the day of her funeral to see her off as they couldn't all come to the funeral. The same neighbours vowing that they will look after my elderly father, who has dementia and still lives there.
What do you think will you take away from this experience?
I am surrounded by love. I am far stronger than I imagined. I am the warrior woman I was born to be.
Dr. Rick Fraser | Chief Medical Officer | Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust
What has challenged you most?
One of the most challenging aspects of the pandemic has been the constant change in communications/direction from the centre as this crisis has unfolded. The messages have often been confusing however those working to deliver health care have consistently found a way through. This response from clinicians and those in supporting roles has been truly amazing.
What has inspired you most?
I have seen so many people going the extra mile, working long hours and always putting patients first. At last it seems as though the NHS is getting the recognition it deserves. The pandemic has also uncovered much about the society we live in - inequality, racism and lifestyle.
What do you think will you take away from this experience?
I do hope we retain some of these new ways of living as we move forward. I think that we may see the pandemic as a watershed and that from the pain and loss will come a better future. I do hope so.
Vicky Martin | Chaplain | Mill View Hospital, Hove
What has challenged you most?
It has been hard to keep on top of things. Demands on our time and the way we do things have changed almost hourly. There was a period when I wasn’t allowed to do my job in the way I always had and that led to quite an identity crisis and feelings of low self-worth. I think this was particularly hard for me as my job also a vocation and spiritual calling. When dealing with people who were struggling and being effected by the COVID pandemic, I wondered where God had gone.
What has inspired you most?
Inspiration has been found in the goodness of our fellow humans. The acts of kindness and love that I have seen are amazing. My NHS colleagues have been faithful and loyal to each other and those in our care.
What do you think will you take away from this experience?
I will take from this three things. One, never underestimate the small acts of kindness and connection. Two, no matter how independent we think we are and how invincible- we aren’t. Three, we can rise to challenges quickly and efficiently when we throw out the red tape and pride that often binds us
Tim Sales | Consultant Psychiatrist in Recovery for Brighton & Hove. Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust.
What has challenged you most?
I've had contact with over 300 people all with severe and enduring mental illness during the pandemic. The vast majority of these have been telephone or video consultations which make communication and understanding people's difficulties much more challenging.
What has inspired you most?
It’s been hugely inspiring to see the resilience with which my colleagues have been coping with the many challenges we’ve faced during the crisis, but also how patients under our care have enjoyed providing support for other people in their community. Some of our patients have used the lockdown as an opportunity to review their lives and refocus on new targets.
What will you take away from this experience?
It’s been very nice to feel appreciated by the public, but it would be even nicer to see some concrete changes beyond the lip service from politicians.
Gabrielle Davey | Support Worker, Mental Health Rapid Response Service | Mill View Hospital, Hove
What has challenged you most?
My biggest challenge has been trying to guide people through the disarray the pandemic has caused whilst also coming to grips with it myself, I think a lot of people forget that we are also human beings trying to fumble their way through unknown territory.
What has inspired you most?
My colleagues’ resilience has inspired me the most during the COVID pandemic. Their willingness to accept drastic, overnight changes and adapt to more intense expectations of mental health services whilst always providing the best care possible is outstanding.
What will you take away from this experience?
The global pandemic has taught me not to take things for granted. The changes that COVID forced upon us saw the loss of our sense of freedom, control, stability and even our loved ones. Never will I again take for granted seeing my family, my friends, nipping to the shops quickly, going to work or seeing a doctor face to face.
Kevin Preston | Charge Nurse, Mental Health | Mill View Hospital, Hove
What has challenged you most?
Professionally, one of the biggest challenges has undoubtedly been the uncertainty we have faced, with the information we’ve being receiving seeming to change on a daily basis.
On a personal level, the COVID crisis has at time left me feeling extremely vulnerable with regard to my own safety and that of my family. I have myself had COVID-19 and was off work for 14 days, and I know friends, staff and patients who have also been unwell.
What has inspired you most?
It’s been amazing seeing everyone pulling together and stepping up to the demands that are made on them; it’s inspiring to seeing people willing to put their lives at risk, especially when there’s still so much that’s unknown about how this will all develop.
What will you take away from this experience?
I really hope that people have learned something from the experience and taken it seriously – if they haven’t, it could be very worrying for the next time round. I’d also like to think that the greater sense of humanity and community we’ve experienced through this crisis will continue, but we’ll see!
Orla Dillon | Aspirant Nurse on acute Psychiatric ward | Mill View Hospital, Hove
What has challenged you most?
I think what I have found most challenging has been that my life is suddenly entirely work-centric. I'll preface this by saying that I am actually very grateful to be a key worker during this time, work provides a structure and purpose that I crave. But it's not the sole reason I get out of bed in the morning, in usual circumstances. These days when I am not at work, 99% of the time I am staying put at home. I am completely on board with doing all we can as individuals to stop the spread of Coronavirus so as to not overburden the NHS and make things unsafe for everyone. But that doesn't make it sting any less that there are many people I love who I have not been able to see since winter. I consider socialising with a variety of people to be integral to my well-being, and to maintaining my work/life balance, so adjusting to this change has been a struggle.
What has inspired you most?
What has inspired me most, as a student nurse, has been seeing the bravery and positive attitude of all my colleagues. Due to the pandemic I have been working full time in an Aspirant Nurse role, and so I have had a chance to become fully integrated into a team on a busy and demanding acute psychiatric ward. In the face of unclear guidelines, delayed PPE, multiple staff sicknesses, and constantly changing instructions, the nursing team on the ward have been rays of sunshine in a life that has otherwise been looking very grey. In spite of worrying about their own health and those of their loved ones, they continue to provide outstanding care to mentally unwell men, and they do so diligently and with a sense of humour.
What do you think will you take away from this experience?
I think what I will take away from this experience is the knowledge that most countries in the world are incredibly underprepared for a pandemic. With the way we generally live on this planet, epidemiologists have been saying for years that it is not a matter of "if" but "when". I have been unsurprised but still appalled at the treatment of the rentier class and healthcare workers during this time, so my attitude to our current leadership has not changed at all. In terms of positives- the power of community has never been more apparent to me. The ingenuity of individual people in making life a little easier or brighter for themselves and others has been a joy to see. I don't think it's easy to forget the overriding good in humanity once you have seen it.
Mark Conford | Mental Health Nurse | Mill View Hospital, Hove
What has challenged you most?
As a mental health nurse working on the ward I had the mixed feelings of being grateful to have a job to go to, the stress and uncertainty of how we could adapt once we had Covid on the ward, and the overall worry about how people would be affected longer term. This was all mixed in with a desire to deal with the immediate risks as best as possible, so we could keep everybody safe and hopefully get things back to normal.
When my ward was locked down due to Covid and patients were having to self isolate in their rooms, it was hard. There was a lot of stress and some people didn’t understand why they weren’t able to leave the ward, or why we were wearing protective gear and scrubs when usually we were in casual clothes. There was a lot of pressure on staff at all levels to reduce the spread of Covid, and doing your job the way you were used to just wasn’t possible. No matter how hard things got I was always aware the conditions general nurses at the county were under were more traumatic and life threatening, and I worried about general nursing friends I met when I was studying.
What has inspired you most?
My ward really came together as a team and across the hospital there was an understanding between everybody that we had to work as a whole to support each other and keep everybody safe. I’m still proud of how my colleagues stepped up during a period of huge risk.
What will you take away from this experience? In recent months we’ve had no Covid at Mill View and things have been relatively normal. With the uncertainty we face now, what concerns me is how much community support people will be able to receive, what services will remain and how mental health services will go on to meet the needs of people that have become seriously ill from Covid, lost family members or had traumatic experiences in Covid red zones. I do still have hope that society as a whole will recognise the importance of healthcare and how a big a part mental health plays in people’s well-being.
Dr. Claudine Vant | Psychiatrist, acute male in-patient ward | Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust.
What has challenged you most?
When it was all starting, I was avidly reading everything I could, watching the news all the time and really was spending far too much time completely infatuated with Coronavirus. I work in mental health, so at work they were giving us extra training in how to deal with medically unwell patients, including end of life care - something I hadn't done for so long, having been a psychiatrist for the last 20 years. I felt so out of my depth. I had seen the awful videos from the hospitals in Italy and I was terrified. I would be in tears on my sofa every evening when I got home from work.
What has inspired you most?
I felt really heartened by the sense of community spirit, with everyone pulling together to help each other during lockdown. So many people offering to go shopping for vulnerable people and all of the kind folk who donated protective equipment and who devoted their time to making scrubs and masks.
What do you think will you take away from this experience?
An enhanced appreciation of the importance of community spirit and generally pulling together and looking out for one another.